I recently wrote, 50 things I did outside as a kid that didn’t kill me, a post that got me thinking about how come I did all this cool stuff outside, but kids today don’t. I think it’s due to two major issues – screens and parent comfort with the outside world.

Photo © Flickr user N8tr0n

Kids are glued, almost literally, to screens nowadays from television to computers to Kindle to cell phones and other screens. Research backs this up and also shows that screen addiction results in some health and social consequences.

Anyhow, I’ve been pondering the situation and I’ve tried to come up with some ideas that will get your kids outside and active vs. constantly sedentary. Later I’ll be posting a challenge about this, since screen time and activity is something we need to work on in my own house. But first, some tips…

Photo © Flickr user KellBailey

Admit that the world is safe to explore

As I noted in that 50 things I did outside as a kid that didn’t kill me post, many parents are scared about letting their kids roam outside on their own.  As a kid, I wandered around all the time on my own, as did my peers, and statistically, there was more crime in the 70s and early 80s than now. We survived.

I think about what life would have been like had my mom (or some other adult) shadowed my every movement as a kid and the first thing that pops into my mind is yikes! What a downer. Life would have been considerably less fun had I never gotten any free kid time. I imagine that kids today maybe don’t mind as much, because they’re not used to exploring on their own. Still, I bet many would give their teeth to be allowed some awesome wandering time outside or at a mall or in a big city.

Admit to yourself and your kids that there are bad people and bad times, but for the most part, people are okay. Bad things don’t always happen. Life should be an adventure. If you’re brave enough to accept that being outside is safe and fun, maybe your kids will too.

For help coming to terms with the fact that the world is mostly safe, read the following:

• Is it safe to let your kids play outside alone?
• Do you let your five-year-old go to the park alone?
• Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)

As I noted in that 50 things I did outside as a kid that didn’t kill me post, plenty of parents today are too scared to allow their kids any freedom when it comes to outside play. In fact, the Kids Fighting Chance website notes that a recent study of parents’ worries by pediatricians at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, showed that nearly 3/4 of parents said they feared their children might be abducted and 1/3 of parents said this was a frequent worry, greater than that held for any other concern, including car accidents, sports injuries or drug addiction.

• Do you let your five-year-old go to the park alone?

As a parent, you need to get the facts and pass them on to your kids, because it’s not just parents who are scared of this world, but kids too. You don’t need to dwell on and relate the super scary facts you see on cop shows and the news, but the real hard core facts about safety in today’s world.

But kids are kidnapped!

This is true. Some kids are victims of horrid crimes. But very few.

The U.S. Justice Department released a huge report on U.S. child abduction (pdf) in 1999, and noted that during their study year, there were an estimated 115 stereotypical kidnappings, i.e. what we’d call stranger kidnappings. In 40% of such kidnappings the child was killed. In another 4% the child was never recovered. That leaves 56% of kids recovered, meaning, about 50 children are kidnapped never to be seen alive again. Teens, not young children were most frequently abducted.

Of course, those statistics are from 1999. Are more kids being kidnapped now? Some news reports state crazy stuff like 800,000 children disappear every year, but dig deeper into statistics and you’ll find that still very few (still only about 115) kids fall into that stranger-danger kidnapping category. Most child-minded organizations admit readily that cases of stranger-based kidnappings are extremely rare.

Obviously, even one child kidnapped is terrible. Plus, as Free Range Kids points out, it doesn’t much matter that just 50 kids are kidnapped, never to be returned each year, the bigger concern is that most parents think along the lines of, “My kid could be one of those 50.”

However, if you’re so worried about stranger danger that you keep your kids near you and inside at all times, you’d also better be aware of all the other dangers out there in the world.

Your child is more likely to be the victim of…

Fact: Your child is far more likely to be killed by a car crash, a pool, a parent-caused birth defect or your own home than kidnapped and killed by a raving maniac while playing outside.

• Injuries suffered in a motor vehicle traffic crashes, not murder, is the leading cause of death among children in the United States. In fact, the CDC states that each day eight teens die in a crash. U.S. National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) statistics show that every single day in the United States, an average of 4 children age 14 and younger are killed and 529 are injured in motor vehicle crashes.

• Deaths from fires and burns are the fifth most common cause of unintentional injury deaths in the United States (CDC 2006) and the third leading cause of fatal home injury (Runyan 2004). Four out of five U.S. fire deaths occur in homes, not outside, and kids are in a high risk group.

• The CPSC estimates that about 300 children under the age of 5 years drown each year in home swimming pools. Additionally, CPSC points out that almost all child victims “Were being supervised by one or both parents when the swimming pool accident occurred.“

• Radon gas affects 8 million homes a year and kills 20,000 in the USA alone annually.

• The CDC notes that currently about 1 in 8 pregnant women in the United States reports alcohol use and because of that the March of Dimes notes that up to 40,000 babies are born with FASDs annually.

• American Association of Poison Control Centers notes that 1.25 million kids younger than six years of age are unintentionally poisoned in the home each year by common household products.

• Last year, a study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found more than 1.7 million children live in homes with loaded and unlocked guns and it’s also been reported that there are about 500 child deaths per year due to accidental gun shootings.

• According to The Consumer Products and Safety Commission reports over 230,000 toy-related injuries are treated at U.S. emergency rooms annually.

Year after year unintentional injury is the leading cause of death among children in the U.S. NOT kidnapping.

If you’re really hell-bent on protecting your child, then seriously, don’t ever take your child out in your car. Don’t take him to a swimming pool. Don’t give him toys. Don’t allow him to be inside too long, because he might die in a house fire or eat poison.

What happens when kids aren’t allowed outside freedom

• Kids miss out on basic rights, such as forming fun childhood memories and making mistakes.
• Kids don’t learn how to be brave.
• Kids face health consequences such as obesity and other illnesses.
• Kids loose out on all the major benefits of free play.
• Kids can’t figure out how to entertain themselves or figure out what to do when a screen isn’t available.
• Kids miss out on “nature buffers” which have been shown to protect children against the effect of stressful life events.

If you really can’t drop the kidnapping issue, consider that research shows that street-smart kids are less likely to be abducted. Kids cannot, no matter what you think, develop street smarts while sitting safely inside.

Sure, teach your kids basic safety rules. Wear a helmet. Look before crossing the street. Don’t go places with people you don’t know. However, don’t teach your kids that the world will kill them if they step into it. That’s not only a lie but it’s created a society of kids who don’t value outside fun and who have no clue what to do with themselves when they’re on their own.

It is safe and beneficial for your child to play outside alone.

If you’re looking for a good video about “strangers” check out The Safe Side. It encourages safety but not fear and discusses “People we know well” and “People we don’t” vs. “Terrifying strangers.” I thought this video was great and especially liked that it encourages kids to be smart and safe, but not freaked out. If you can’t chill out, read Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) – it’ll help I promise.

Kids are pretty darn sheltered these days. On Facebook I once posed the question to some parents, “At what age is it safe to let kids play alone outside?” The answers I got freaked me out. Parents posted stuff like, “14, 18 years of age” or “Never.” Very few parents said they allowed their kids outside time without a parent at all, at any age. Even fewer parents said they allowed kids under the age of 12 alone time outside.

• Do you let your five-year-old go the park alone?

It’s shocking. Not only do kids get almost no time outside they seem to get literally no time away from their parents. In fact, research shows that just 6% of kids ages 9-13 play outside alone. This is almost cruel in my opinion. Kids need nature. Kids need to be outside. Kids need to explore. Kids really, really need free play sans adults.

In some cases parents halt free play in favor of academics. In other cases parents halt free play because it’s easier to say yes to video games and TV. In a majority of cases though, I’ve seen parents halt free play because they’re scared to let their kids out of their sight. It’s a disservice to kids to be so scared of the world that outside play becomes a hazard. The world isn’t perfectly safe, but it’s not a big fat danger either. Not if you talk to your kids about basic safety rules.

My mom was far from perfect. However, she did give me outdoor freedom. She told me about stranger danger and advised me to look both ways before crossing a street. She liked when I was playing with friends, but also understood that sometimes I needed alone time. Because my mom was good in this respect I had a childhood full of normal healthy outdoor risks and adventures.

In fact, here are 50 things I did as a kid, before the age of 16 (WITHOUT an adult present) that didn’t get me killed, kidnapped or otherwise scarred for life…

1. Planned to build a clubhouse and sort of followed through using nails and (gasp) hammers.
2. Play acted movies out with my friends.
3. Kissed a neighbor boy.
4. Ran in the rain without a coat.
5. Climbed a million trees.
6. Walked 20 blocks to a corner store for soda and candy.
7. Rode my bike on very busy streets all over town.
8. Built stuff out of rocks, mud and other nature items.
9. Swam at my neighborhood pool without parents present – before 12 with a lifeguard, after 12 no lifeguard.
10. Jumped out of trees from way up high.
11. Biked without a helmet – not just in my neighborhood either. I used to sneak out and ride on the rural highway.
12. Tied a bunch of bikes and wagons together to make a parade.
13. Climbed on my friend’s roof (second story).
14. Played street football and baseball.
15. Jumped on a trampoline.
16. Sat in my friend’s hot tub sans adults.
17. Picked up stray cats.
18. Did cartwheels off a pool diving board.
19. Jumped off a pool diving board while sitting in a patio chair.
20. Got inside a pillowcase or old box and went stair sledding.
21. Played hide and seek at night.
22. Walked around a big city, shopping, looking, etc. with young friends.
23. Explored my neighborhood and other places.
24. Jumped in the rain and in puddles.
25. Went hiking, got lost. Got found.
26. Dangled into a sewer to get my Barbie doll who fell in.
27. Played monster – a tag game where the “IT” kid had to hit other kids with a plastic bat.
28. Rolled around in pink insulation in the outdoor playhouse my friend’s dad was building.
29. Did somersaults on concrete.
30. Rode tire swings with way too many friends.
31. Stayed outside too long in snowy weather.
32. Stayed outside too long in hot weather – didn’t drink water.
33. Went downtown on the bus to go to a music concert.
34. Cooked over a campfire.
35. Went to visit neighbor friends, starting at the age of four, who lived houses and houses away.
36. Climbed rocks.
37. Threw rocks and had some thrown at me.
38. Ran off alone at city parks, sometimes with friends, sometimes not.
39. Ran near the ocean.
40. Rode horses.
41. Got in fights and roughed it up with other kids.
42. Went swimming in rivers and lakes.
43. Picked and ate berries off of neighborhood bushes.
44. Played on splintery old playground equipment.
45. Slept outside with other kids, no adults. Suburban camping!
46. Slipped on a Slip & Slide.
47. Rode public transportation alone, no parents. Often at night.
48. Went on long night walks.
49. Had snowball fights.
50. Walked to and from school alone – I lived about 10 blocks away.

Do I recommend your kid jump into a pool while sitting on a patio chair, throw rocks or dangle into sewers? No, these are stupid things to do. I could have been really, seriously hurt. Yet, I wasn’t.

Keep in mind:

I didn’t always live in safe neighborhoods as a kid. Sometimes we lived in pretty sketchy areas. I never, not once in my childhood, required doctor’s care due to an accident from playing outside. I’ve never had a broken bone, or even stitches. Even so, if I had experienced accidents, I’d still be glad I had all that outdoor time. Kids need to make mistakes and sometimes fall down. That’s life.

The new depressing version of childhood

It’s incredibly depressing to me to think about all the kids in this generation who will look back on their childhood as a time when they sat and sat and sat, safe and secure in front of computers and the TV. These are kids who won’t get the chance to learn how to be alone or how to be free to explore their world. Plus, a sedentary childhood can lead to all kinds of health and mental problems. It’s very depressing.

If you’re having trouble wrapping your head around this issue, I highly suggest you read Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry). This is one of my favorite books and can really help if you’re too worried to let your child be an explorer.

What did you do as a kid that didn’t kill you? What are you allowing your kid to do now, alone, outside that also won’t likely kill him? Share in the comments.

I’m scrapping together a lower-cost sunscreen guide, due to our ongoing conversations here about expensive sunscreen. But, it’s taking a while. Until I get this list together, why not enjoy some past Growing a Green Family posts you may have missed…

Make sure your child is getting out into nature. In fact, consider sending your child out into the world alone for a while.

Plan an eco-friendly picnic or barbecue!

Learn all about organic lemon trees – lots of yummy lemon recipes included plus some cool lemon links just for the kiddos.

Too hot to cook indoors? Why not build a solar cooker and use the heat to your advantage.

20 awesome DIY eco-friendly summer toys – some of these the kids can help you make.

Got bored kids? Make some….

• Super cheap organic play dough

• Homemade non-toxic organic finger paint

• Recycled cereal box houses

Hopefully some of those links will help you to kick off summer right. Cedar is home from school now, but pretty much ready for his school to start up again (he wants year-round school) I can feel that this summer will be looooooong.

How is your summer going so far?

I haven’t done anything with the anti-conventional school series this month, mainly because, as I pointed out in my last post, it’s just been one of those months.

However, lately I’ve been trying to figure out how come some parents allow their kids to languish in conventional school, or really, any bad-fit educational system/program. In my mind, if your child’s educational experience isn’t beneficial and worse, if it’s making your child miserable, you’d try something new.

Basically, if your kid’s teachers would fire said kid, if given the chance, it may be something to consider.

I recently read a piece – Ten Signs that You Need to Find a Different Kind of Education for Your Child. It’s an excellent article, but sadly I’ve seen much worse. Seriously, after talking to conventionally schooled kids I could name fifty things to watch out for.

For example, one family I know has experienced the following negatives with school over the last few years (maybe longer)…

One of the kids in the family has told the family (and me):

• I hate school.
• Teachers are mean and out to get me in trouble.
• I hate almost all my classes.
• Teachers ignore me.
• I hate my friends.
• I don’t do my homework.
• I lose my homework.
• I don’t understand my homework.
• I hate reading.
• School is boring.
• I’m stupid.
• Teachers don’t explain anything right.
• I can’t learn on my own.
• School is not for learning – school is for making teachers grade books look good.
• I’m not good at school/reading and it’s my “parents”/”teachers” fault.
• I feel out of control of my life at school.
• All teachers are evil.
• I worry about getting into trouble.
• Everyone thinks you’re dumb.
• Most schools are mean.
• If I wasn’t forced I wouldn’t learn anything.
• All kids with bad grades are ADHD.
• There’s too much drama at school.
• Teachers tell me off. They like to do that.
• I’m worried teachers will tell my parents I’m bad.

And more. If you ask this kid to tell you something good about school, all you get is a blank stare about 95% of the time. Once I asked said kid to tell me which year was the best year of school so far, and the child said, “There hasn’t been a good year yet.”

This same kid’s parents have been told by teachers that…

• Kid is not up to full potential.
• Kid hangs out with wrong crowd.
• Kid is disabled.
• Kid has attention problems.

This kid further…

• Only gets so-so grades and some are very bad.
• Zones out in class
• Won’t do homework without being forced and always at the last minute.
• Cries over homework.
• Needs parents to explain homework over and over.
• Needs parents to do a lot of the homework.
• Always wishes for snow or holidays so school is closed down.
• Doesn’t want to be involved in any extra curricular activities.

The only positives I’ve heard this kid say about school (or the kid’s idea of positives anyhow) include…

• Kid claims that school is necessary in order to avoid being a hobo.
• Kid likes science.
• Kid sometimes likes math.
• Kid states that without school, “College and a job are out of the question.“
• Kid says, “I should be forced to learn or I can’t learn anything.“

The parents have another kid who claims, “I only do the bare minimum at school because I’m lazy and it doesn’t matter.” Plus this kid has been put in extra tutoring and the parents have been told, by teachers, that kid has multiple anxiety issues about school.

END RESULT = After hearing all of the above here’s what the parents decide. The current schools are where these kids should be. Um?

Personally, it’s frustrating, because all of the above are major red flags to me. How parents see all the signs above and interpret it to mean “School is just fine” is beyond me. This isn’t to single out these parents either. This is something I’ve seen with many other families in the past. It’s seriously not atypical, not that it makes it okay, but it’s not unique. The kids are miserable and complaining all the time or getting into trouble or doing extremely poor work, but all the parents focus on are the very few pros (if you want to consider them pros). It’s not a good weighing system.

I’ve been thinking about it, and partially I think that parents keep kids in situations like this because they’re kids, not adults, and people tend to assume certain things are okay for kids that are in no way okay for adults. For example, you could turn it around and say, I know an adult at work who…

• Says they hate their job.
• Disrupts the workplace.
• Is scared of their boss.
• Cries when they have to do work.
• Does shoddy work or no work at all.
• Wishes for snow days.
• Says work is always boring.
• Hate their co-workers.
• Forgets how to do work.
• Says they’re too stupid to do their work.
• Has anxiety over work.
• Says that without force they won’t do their job.

Then the situation looks really bad. An adult who acts like this would one, be fired or two, should probably quit and find a job they actually enjoy. That’s something to think about. If your kid should be fired from school, well, maybe there’s something to that.

On the flip side you’ve got a kid and parents who believes all the above turmoil is necessary or they’ll never accomplish anything. That’s a very dangerous mindset though, because now you’ve got a person who will grow up thinking, “Hey, it’s totally normal to be unhappy most of the time.” Wow, this person’s going to have a fun life.

In any case, this has been bothering me a lot lately. Since I’ve seen many families have experiences like this, I guess I’d just like to understand where they’re coming from. Especially since often, I like the kids in the family and don’t think it’s cool to see them living like this.

Later, I’ll post some ideas I have about why parents feel the few pros above outweigh all the cons when it comes to keeping their kids in their current educational situation.

You tell me - how many cons would it take to make you believe that your child needs a different educational experience?

I don’t so much get unschooling questions as I get unschooling comments of concern tossed at me. People often don’t ask, “Hey what about socialization?” But instead proclaim to me, as if it’s a fact, something akin to, “OMG kids who don’t go to school miss out on socializing!”

The other day, I did get a great comment/question on the post alternatives to conventional schooling on that post, Alexis asks the following (in part):

“I am open to the idea of homeschooling and unschooling, but wonder what are the effects on the child as they become an adult and go into the world? Do you know anybody who was purely brought up on a unschooling basis and what do they do now? What about colleges, do they see that as a valid “diploma” if a child wants to go to college? Can the ability to makes choices, be respected and learn responsibility only be taught in school or should these be things that children learn at home and implement in a school environment? I am not trying to debate what is right versus what is wrong, but rather wonder if those that choose to homeschool or unschool can honor and respect those who choose conventional schooling and vice versa?“

This may be the most open-minded comment I’ve ever received about unschooling (from a non-unschooler). Below, I’ll try to answer some of Alexis’ questions along with the major concerns I’ve heard from other people over the last ten years.

The #1 question – what about socialization?

I get sooooooo tired of the socialization question. It’s been better for the last two years, because now Cedar also attends Free School. Friends and family LOVE that he started the Free School, which allows them to quit worrying about my poor child’s lack of socialization (sigh).

Before Free School everyone was extremely concerned about Cedar. I was accused of crushing his ability to ever learn how to socialize due to keeping him out of school. It didn’t help that Cedar is shy (or as we like to say, slow-to-warm), so he’s naturally less apt to be social. Cedar’s natural shy qualities mixed with zero school had everyone scared to death that he’d grow up 100% uncivilized.

Here’s the thing; if you assume school is the only place to meet and socialize, then you’re sort of screwed once school is over right? What about on weekends? Holidays? Summer vacation? At a concert?

In his life, Cedar has met and developed relationships with people via – play groups, trips to other states, the park, unschooling meetings and play dates, gymnastic classes, neighborhood families and he’s also met people through established friends and family.  He meets people all the time. He gains socialization skills at home and everywhere else he goes.

Kids in schools, in my opinion, have a smaller range of social opportunities because they have less time to socialize and because in school you mainly hang out with kids exactly your age who are doing exactly what you’re doing vs. meeting a wide array of people doing unique things. Adult life isn’t like that. you don’t go to a party and see everyone grouped off into ages. I’ve never worked anywhere that splits up employees based on age. School is a made-up social experience without real life application.

In school you basically adapt to kids your exact age and then you adapt to whichever group you’d like to be in (if you can) – nerds, popular, punks, preps, jocks, etc. Out of school you never know who you’ll meet. Once you meet someone new, you simply learn how to adapt to each new person and situation. Unschooling kids do exactly this same thing.

Unschooling leads to anarchy

A few years back People magazine printed a story about unschoolers – which may have been the only time in my life I bought this magazine. But I digress. I was very disappointed with the article. It discussed two unschooling families, which was nice because unschooling is rarely featured in mainstream media, then when it is, it’s horrible.

The piece was slanted in favor of unschooling being a bad choice; starting with the title “Is This Any Way to Learn?” Great, if that doesn’t settle people’s nerves about unschooling right from the get-go then nothing will. The magazine gave a general description of unschooling theory that was generic and incorrect.

Worse they played up stuff that didn’t matter. The article discusses one unschooled 21 year old female who was attending Harvard. They paint her in a great light – but not because she’s a successful person who has developed her own way to learn, but because she was attending Harvard. It highlighted the fact that she got into Harvard and read like anything less would be an unsuccessful stab at unschooling. The article states that educators are worried about unschoolers who may be less talented or motivated than this particular girl. Of course, not taking into account that all humans are variables with different skill levels no matter whether schooled or unschooled.

A quote was given by some director of education at the American Enterprise Institute which said:

“It’s true that schools are immensely boring for some kids. But for disadvantaged kids or those who don’t have a stable family or community support to help them master basic skills, [unschooling] can be a recipe for anarchy.”

ANARCHY! Strong wording don’t you think? In my dictionary anarchy relates to wildness and refers to people who rebel. I don’t think wildness or rebelling is bad – by all means be wild; rebel if you like. However, the term anarchy also refers to people who resort to violence to get what they need or to overthrow the order, violence to make a point or get other humans out of the way, a state of lawlessness, and disorder or absence of authority.

The problem with calling unschoolers anarchists is that any kid without stable family members or community supports can be a possible recipe for problems (and at times anarchy). However, the article makes it sound as if only unschooling kids are in danger of getting into trouble. All the unschoolers I’ve met have been great. The people on unschooling forum are helpful and kind and talk about their children with respect. Thus far I have not been to an anarchy crazed unschooler’s park day.

I’d bet money that there are unsupportive or dysfunctional unschooling families out there but I’d bet a lot more money that it has more to do with family dynamics than it does an educational decision.

In fact, to prove my point, here’s some stuff I’ve seen individuals with a high school diploma or college degree do:

• Take drugs
• Cheat, steal, or lie
• Go to jail
• Start a war to prove a point
• Not get into the college of their choice
• Have a messy and mean divorce
• Be mean to their dog
• Hurt another human
• Kill another person
• Get fired from a job
• Be unemployed
• Wreak cars, including setting cars on fire
• Act racist or homophobic
• Hit their kids
• Be unhappy

If someone thinks that conventional school or a degree is a recipe for zero trouble they’re very much misleading themselves. Have I ever seen an unschooler get into trouble – sure – but this isn’t an issue that ONLY affects unschoolers. It’s an issue that affects humans in general. Anyone has the potential to create or not create anarchy. School vs. no school won’t change that. Caring, respectful parenting and other adults in a child’s life is what can change this.

Can unschoolers go to college?

This one is easy – yes. Unschoolers, homeschoolers and free schoolers have been accepted by tons of major universities and rarely have trouble getting into college, if in fact they decide to go to college. Unschoolers and free schoolers have lots of options for college, such as…

• Starting at a community college then transferring to a university. Actually, I’ve met many unschoolers who decide to start community college when they’re very young – 14, 15, 16, instead of waiting around like kids in school.
• Taking tests for placement in a university.
• Creating a portfolio of experiences for the college admission boards.
• Getting their GED first.

Not that you have to go to college. I think it’s far too expected that people will simply go to college nowadays. Really, it’s not for everyone, and not until you’re ready. When I went to college I was 25 or so and 100% ready. By the way, I started community college without a GED, without SATs and without a high school diploma.

Because I was ready and willing, I did very well in college. My son was a baby, and I’d take him to classes with me, but I still maintained 18 credits typically, a 4.0 and was in all honors classes, for what it’s worth. Later I was approached by multiple universities who wanted me to attend their school, won all kinds of scholarships to the university of my choice and then got into a highly competitive RN program. The people I knew in college who were just there to be there, because it was expected, had little focus, got bad grades, and were, in my opinion, wasting a ton of time and money.

No matter if you’re an unschooler or conventional schooler, you should want to go to college, if you go. It’ll be a better experience. It’s way too time consuming and costly to attend a college just because you think it’s the expected thing to do.

To learn more about the college process for unschoolers read chapter 25 of The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education or check out Will Unschooling Get Them Into College.

BUT school prepares you for life!…

I’ve heard the arguments – “But all that sitting at your desk, little movement, harsh schedules, etc., preps you for a job as an adult. We can’t always do what we want in life!”

That’s a sucky life to get used to. Many of my adult friends don’t choose sitting jobs for just this reason. Many of my friends hate to sit and have busy jobs that get them up and out. Other friends choose jobs specifically where they won’t be micromanaged, because they got enough of that in school. If you do want a sitting job, fine. If you want an adult life void of autonomy, fine. However, that’s your choice as an adult.

You’ll never make me believe that all those kids in traditional schools would choose sitting all day, harsh schedules and being told what to do and learn day in and day out if asked. Plus, school doesn’t prep you for life – school preps you for, not surprisingly, knowing how to do what you’re told, as a recent creativity study points out.

School, in my experience was nothing like my real life has turned out to be. In fact, I’d wager that all those years in school made me less prepared, because being in school made me doubt myself in some major ways. I had to overcome those doubts in order to be more productive in my actual life. Which leads me to the last major concern I hear about unschooling – “If you don’t go to school you just won’t learn…” However, I’ll cover this in the next post, since right now, we’re running a bit long.

Do you unschool? What are some concerns and questions you hear?

Right before my son Cedar was born, I found this story called The Brown Flower among my own childhood items, printed it, framed it and hung it in Cedar’s room where I’d see it daily. I already knew I’d be unschooling my son and this story helped to serve as a reminder of why. Also this story made me focus on how my own expectations might eventually shape Cedar – sort of a way to keep me in check. Following is that story…

The Brown Flower
Based on a story by Helen E. Buckley

Once upon a time a small boy had been going to school for a few weeks; his teacher said, “Today we are going to make a picture.” The boy thought about how he could draw lions and tigers, trains and boats, houses and suns and all kinds of pretty things. He took out his crayons and began to draw.

But the teacher said, “We are going to make flowers.” The boy stopped drawing, turned his paper over, and thought how he could draw all kinds of different flowers: some with big leaves, some with pink leaves, some with pink and orange petals, some big purple ones and some little yellow ones and he started to draw happily.

But the teacher said, “I will show you how.” She drew a flower on the blackboard. It was brown with a green stem.

The little boy liked the flowers he had drawn better then the teacher’s flower, but he took out a new piece of paper and made a flower just like hers. It was brown with a green stem.

On another day the teacher said, “We are going to make something with clay,” The boy thought about how he could make snakes and snowmen, elephants and mice, donuts and lots of other exciting things. He began to pull and pinch his ball of clay.

But the teacher said “We are going to make a dish.” The boy liked that idea too, so he started to make dishes of all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said, “I will show you how.” She showed the class how to make one deep dish. “Now you may began,” she said.

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish, then he looked at his own. He liked his dishes better than her dish, but he crushed them back into a big ball again. Then he made a deep dish, just like the teacher’s. And so it went on for many weeks.

Then it happened that the boy’s family moved to another city. On the very first day at his new school, the teacher said, “Today we are going to make a picture.” The boy thought about how much fun it would be to draw a picture, and he waited.

But his teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room. When she came to the little boy, she asked him whether he wanted to draw a picture. He said that he did, he asked her what he should draw. “Anything you want to,” said the teacher.

The little boy looked at his blank paper and thought hard for several moments. Then he picked up his crayons and started to draw. He drew a brown flower with a green stem.

The End

Of all the problems I have with traditional schooling, squashed creativity is a top concern. Squashed creativity is not some made up issue, it’s an actual growing problem. Newsweek recently posted a piece called The Creativity Crisis. It’s long, but worth the read. To sum up:

Back in 1958, a group of nearly 400 Minneapolis children completed a series of creativity tasks newly designed by professor E. Paul Torrance. The children who first took these tests have been tracked for 50 years now, and amazingly, Torrance’s creativity index was able to predict which kids would eventually go on to experience many creative accomplishments as adults. “Those who came up with more creative ideas on Torrance’s tasks grew up to be entrepreneurs, inventors, college presidents, authors, doctors, diplomats, and software developers.” And not surprisingly, correlation to lifetime creative accomplishment was more than three times stronger for childhood creativity than childhood IQ. Meaning high IQ scores in childhood did not equal creative accomplishment in adulthood, but creative thinking among children did.

Fast forward to this year and a study by Kyung Hee Kim at the College of William & Mary analyzed almost 300,000 Torrance creativity scores of children and adults, and found that creativity scores have been significantly declining since 1990, with the scores of the youngest children in America (kindergarten through sixth grade) on the largest decline.

Lastly, to make things worse, Newsweek found that American teachers say there’s no room in the day, at school, for creativity. There’s simply too much else going on that’s deemed important, such as tests and homework to prepare for tests.

In the film Race to Nowhere, top ivy league university professors pointed out again and again that the real movers and shakers in our world today are largely undereducated by traditional schooling standards, but creative to a fault. People who get way ahead in the world are often the creative thinkers, while their worker bees are often the less creative, but proficient adults who were top students as kids.

Why? I’m not a scientist but I’m guessing it’s because life can’t be as fully managed by someone who has been taught, and believes that life is like a series of standardized tests with one sufficient answer. Real life requires much more creativity than that.

Missing school doesn’t mean missing creative thinking and behavior:

An excellent example of creative thinking at play, with little to no formal schooling, is list of Famous, Rich, and Successful People Who Were High School or College Dropouts. Some examples of people who dropped out, got terrible grades out or who unschooled include:

• Noel Coward
• Charles Dickens
• Florence Nightingale
• Abraham Lincoln – note: 8 individuals, in total, who have served as a U.S. president never went to college.
• Thomas Edison
• Reggie Jackson
• Claude Monet
• Bill Gates
• Walt Whitman
• Sidney Poitier – reportedly, he could only read at the fourth-grade level until a friend taught him how to read better when he was a struggling actor in New York City.
• Ansel Adams
• William Shakespeare
• Ted Turner
• John F. Kennedy – note: was a drop out, but eventually did go back to school, but the fact that someone could drop out then realign what they want is significant.
• Steve Jobs
• Mark Zuckerberg – founded Facebook.
• Woody Allen
• Jimi Hendrix
• Frank Lloyd Wright
• Ray Bradbury
• David Geffen
• Steven Spielberg – actually wasn’t “smart enough” to get into film school.
• Wolfgang Puck
• Benjamin Franklin
• Leonardo DiCaprio
• Walt Disney
• Mark Twain
• Harriet Tubman
• Hans Christian Andersen
• Louis Armstrong
• David Bowie
• George Washington

The list goes on and on and on. This is not to say that all dropouts or unschooled individuals will be famous millionaires and that all schooled individuals will not, but it’s something to seriously think about when calculating the worth of formal education vs. life experience. Too many people believe that formal or traditional education is the only way to get a real life, to get a job, to become someone special and worthwhile and it’s simply not true.

We need to learn that wild and colorful gardens are important and beautiful; not treat our kids as if brown flowers are all that matter.

Later we’ll look at some more research surrounding squashed creativity and the formal school system.

If you want more info now: beyond The Brown Flower, another story I have saved from my childhood is the Animal School, which has been told in one form or another over the years, but it makes sense, from a “Let’s not group all kids together as if they were one child” POV. Read a version of the Animal School.

Now – tell me what you think about creativity in the schools.

I’ve been going on and on about the evils associated with conventional schooling, but haven’t offered any concrete alternatives yet. How about I do that.

Oh, and if you think that conventional school is your ONLY option because you’re a single parent, short on time and resources, think again. I’ve been a single parent, so I have some special ideas for you – I’ve posted those at the end of this post.

Unschooling or very loose homeschooling at home:

Personally I’ve seen homeschooled kids that go through the same icky stuff that kids in conventional schools go through. If you homeschool with tests, set curriculum and forced learning, it’s really not any different than how the average school functions. That said, I’ve seen families who say they homeschool, but actually unschool. The title doesn’t matter, it’s what you do that matters, but to make it easy, here’s a little bit on unschooling.

As I said in a previous post, unschooling is a big old topic; way too involved for a post (or really too involved for even fifty posts) so if you’re interested you can visit Radical Unschooling. In the smallest nutshell I can offer, Mary Griffith, author of The Unschooling Handbook sums up unschooling as a, “Matter of attitude and approach that allows for everyone, adults and children alike to be in charge of their own education.”

Opinions vary about what unschooling means or should be, but most unschoolers I know have many of the same common beliefs and ideas, such as…

• Humans are born naturally curious and a healthy child who is given a rich environment and positive attention will use their curiosity to learn what they need to know.
• It’s unnecessary for children to learn certain things such as cursive or fractions at a specific age and in a set chronological order – this is an idea that society has simply arbitrarily constructed.
• All people are individuals and will learn when they are ready; such as some kids learn to read at four, some at eight, etc.

Cons of unschooling and homeschooling can include serious legal matters to sort through, family and friends thinking you’re nuts, and it can be hard to afford and find time for if you’re a single parent or if both parents work. Also check out Homeschool Laws – which will apply to unschoolers too.

Free Schools or Free Democracy Schools:

The details of what a school is officially called matters little. What’s important is how the school functions. In general, a decent school of this sort functions under an unschool philosophy where they believe children deserve a voice, choices and autonomy.

My son’s Free School follows a system I’m comfortable with – I usually sum it up as unschooling, at an actual school. That’s my fast answer though. In depth, Cedar’s school doesn’t have grades, forced classes or major age separation. They offer space for kids aged 5-18 I believe, and there are three main rooms; a young child’s room, an older child’s room and a teen room, but kids pretty much mill about where they feel like being. There are not teachers in a conventional sense, but there are knowledgeable and helpful staff who guide, teach and hang out with the kids. Explaining a Free School takes a lot of time.

Cons of free schools include limited availability of free schools across the country, a higher cost to parents (although many free schools offset those costs if parents volunteer) and they’re not for everyone. You really need to believe that your child is entitled to choices, respect and responsibility or a free school won’t work for your family.

Cottage or co-op schools:

Like any school, cottage schools or school resource centers started by parents, vary. I personally know very little about starting a co-op school, and I’m sure some might follow too schoolish of a format for my taste, but if you get a like-minded group together, I can see how this might work well, especially for single parents.

Online schooling or mixed online/resource center schooling:

Online schooling is still school, but at least it gets rid of a lot of the little school annoyances like desks and bells. Many areas have online school programs for older kids, but I haven’t seen any for kids below the high school level. I have seen some mixed school deals though, such as your child does some school at home and some at school. I haven’t looked into any of these options much.

While I do consider distance programs a bit better than attending a real school, these options are still school, which we don’t do. You can learn more via the links at A to Z Home’s Cool Homeschooling.

Charter schools:

Oddly, charter schools often pop up as an alternative to school. That’s a myth. In reality, a charter school simply has a focus, such as science, language or arts.

Charter schools are an alternative to other conventional schools, like public or private, but charters are still state-run. Kids still have standardized tests, a set curriculum and all the other nonsense that goes along with school.

For older kids:

Anyone can drop out of school at any age and they’ll be just fine. However, teens who are sick of school have some other options too, such as getting a GED, attending college or getting a job. Of course, you don’t have to do any of this. You could just live and learn for a while on your own terms.

Your own way:

You can mix and match what works best for you. For example, some unschoolers don’t consider my family unschoolers anymore because Cedar attends a Free School. I don’t really care what those unschoolers think though. In my opinion you can unschool and Free School mix. That works for us. You can call what you’re doing whatever you like. You can mix and match options above. You need to find what works for you.

The point is to eliminate all that icky stuff schools have in mind like label, tests, forced teaching of topics, mean teachers and so on, while guiding your children to learn and live creatively and happily.

A note for single parents:

Making sure your child gets to live and learn freely, without school can seen impossibly hard when you’re a single parent. Here are some helpful tips.

• Free Schools are a great option: When I lived with my son’s dad, we unschooled Cedar at home. As a single parent, unschooling FT was near impossible when mixed with my work schedule. I consider us very lucky to have found a school that works for us. A school that helps Cedar learn on his terms. With that in mind, a Free School is an excellent option for a single parent sick of school shenanigans. That said, Free Schools are few and far between. Check Google for “Free School [insert your area]” or “Free Democracy School [insert your area].” You may also be able to find a school at IDEA: The Institute for Democratic Education in America or at Alternative Education Resource Organization.

• If you’d like to unschool, you can share a dwelling with another unschooling family or parent. This helps cut costs and saves time – parents can share in hang time with the kids. You can try to work at home, although real work at home jobs are few and far between. You can also, although I don’t recommend it, try a weird work schedule, like working graveyard and hanging with your kid during the day. Sleep becomes a major issue though.

• If you have an older child, you can help them find a good safe schedule, such as an apprenticeship, some outside classes or just learning on their own, with your help when you’re not at work. So long as your child is old enough to be home alone, you don’t have to be there every second, if you pull him from school.

• You can work out a schedule with your child’s other parent. For example, for a while, I’d work long weekends and my son’s dad would work weekdays. We’d alternate who had Cedar according to the work schedules, thus keeping Cedar out of school.

It’s extremely hard to avoid school if you’re single, but with some creativity, it can be done. I’ve done it for years and I know many other parents who have too. It’s not ideal, but in my opinion, it’s better than conventional school.

Do you have any other suggestions for alternatives to conventional schooling?

Technically my son Cedar does attend a real school. It’s a Free School, but school none the less. However, since we’ve been an unschooling family since Cedar was born we get asked, “Why doesn’t your son go to a real school?” often.

Normally this question is partnered with a look of shock, as if I just punched a kitten or something. I don’t like the looks, but the question is easy enough to answer. Really I could sum it up with what Peter Sacks, the author of Standardized Minds said in an interview I read:

“We should hold schools accountable for something meaningful. For outcomes that have a real connection to the American economy and the productivity of citizens in a democracy. That demands citizens with creative, intelligent, critical minds—not standardized minds.”

I 100% agree. Technically, I’ll go a step further and say parents and caregivers, not just schools should be accountable for this, but well, you get the gist. Most schools hold kids accountable for test scores and grades, not creative critical minds, so why would I send my son there? That said I do have some other reasons as well.

Traditional schools forget that the little things do matter:

Take desks for example. Most people don’t consider desks much. However, I don’t want Cedar forced to sit in an uncomfortable desk for the first 12+ years of his life. I’d be hard pressed to ask that of anyone, even someone I don’t like, so I especially wouldn’t ask my own child to do this.

There are plenty of other little things that bother me about school too. For example, I don’t think Cedar should have to ask every time he wants to speak, or get a drink or use the restroom. In adult life most of us get the luxury of doing these things when we choose, and having this freedom also allows us to learn when appropriate times for all these activities may be.

A girl I know who goes to public school recently told me that she hates having to ask to go to the restroom. She says it makes her feel out of control of her own life. It should. If you have to ask for such small things, you aren’t in any sort of control of your life – that’s someone else controlling your every minute. Kids who don’t have control of these ‘small’ issues can’t easily learn how to regulate their own time – a useful skill.

I want Cedar to learn, not learn to memorize arbitrary facts and spend so much time taking tests:

Schools confuse test taking skills for smart and/or successful. As noted before, in school I did great on multiple choice exams. However, in reality I was officially learning very little that would take me though life. Good tests scores don’t equal smart or long term success or even indicate that you’ve learned something new.

Good test scores may mean you’ve learned stuff but it also might just mean you memorized enough stuff to pass the test, guessed correctly or that you just naturally do well on tests. During school, my friends and I would memorize facts just long enough so that we could cough them back up for a test. I know public and charter school kids who do this now as well. Training a child to take and pass a test doesn’t actually mean that child has mastered certain skills, it means the child has mastered what’s on that specific test. Life is full of loops and whirls that kids need to be ready for, and that means well-rounded learning and experiences choices, not tests.

Learn more about testing issues AND No Child Left Behind.

Most schools don’t trust that kids will learn without punishment and reward:

Schools (and many parents) offer coercion, rewards and punishments attached to learning. Learning, real learning isn’t about that. I want Cedar to know that learning is about gaining knowledge, skills or fun; not gaining material rewards.

Learning certain skills can pay off with material rewards in some circumstances. It’s fair for kids to know about natural consequences. For example, picking up a new skill at work can earn you a promotion or learning to read can help you beat a hard video game – but rewards or punishment shouldn’t be the main motivation for learning.

Schools decide what, when and how kids will learn:

Traditional school systems choose what kids should know with very little parent or child input, then they decide which kids have learned this stuff up to snuff. Kids who do learn what the school deems necessary are considered a success and the kids themselves have little say in what constitutes ‘success’ in the school atmosphere.

FROM AN ADULT POINT OF VIEW: Honestly, as an adult, would you take up new activities or try to learn new skills if you knew there would always be a set way to do it, a time limit and a final grade involved. Would you want to learn to garden, play the guitar or how to make good pie crust if a major judgment call was going to be made about you based on another person’s idea of a successful project?

Everyone learns differently:

Schools don’t have enough time, money or staff to make sure everyone gets to learn in a way that’s best for them. If you’re not learning in a way that’s best for you, learning doesn’t work as well.

Kids who learn with their own style or in their own time aren’t valued by the school system. It’s not technically the system’s fault, or the kid’s either, but it’s just a fact of school. If you had a class of 30-40 kids and the goal was to get them to the same place at the same time, test proficiency wise, there’s no way you’d be able to cater to individual learning styles either.

I’m sure there are more decent schools than others and some teachers are very nice and do try – but the plain fact is there are too many kids and not enough time in most schools.

I don’t want Cedar drilled about topics:

I really don’t want Cedar drilled about any topics, but most of all I don’t want him drilled about facts and topics he’s interested in. What a great way to kill something that was once enjoyable. If someone drilled and tested me every time I asked a question about my favorite topic, I’d quit asking and likely loose interest.

Schools set up kids with labels:

Lucky kids in school win labels like A or B; quiet, advanced group one, smart, popular and good – i.e. successful. Others, not so lucky kids get called lazy, hyperactive, bad, disabled, D, F, and dumb – i.e. not successful. Almost everyone in school ends up labeled as something and sometimes those labels follow you for a very long time.

Random other reasons:

• I don’t want Cedar to assume that learning happens Monday through Friday from 9am to 3pm. I want him to know that learning is a natural part of life not based on some arbitrary time table.
• I believe that anyone’s natural learning process can be hindered (or lost altogether) when too much emphasis is placed on standardized tests, grades, set curriculum and scheduled learning.
• There’s a million little annoying issues too such as limited movement allowed, bells dividing your day into pieces, 15 minutes to eat and so on.

My number one reason – my son’s life doesn’t start someday – it’s going on right now:

Schools very much focused on someday qualities. Once you get this A; once you pass this test; once you graduate and go to college; etc. Schools commented to me, and other people I know that “school is for getting you ready for real life.” In fact, your real life starts at birth; not many degrees later.

I hate that most school systems set you up to wait and wait to live and don’t trust that you’re born a fully capable human, if given the chance to be a fully capable human. You don’t just magically become alive and needing of autonomy at the age of 18 or 20. My son learns, asks questions and makes decisions now. He has interests and dislikes and goals now. I’d like for Cedar to have the time to follow his interests now if he was in a real school that would be impossible. Kids in school don’t get to participate in their own life as much because they have to spend so much time doing what the school decides is important for their life, rather than what the child finds important.

So, that’s why Cedar doesn’t attend a real school – in a not so small nutshell.

My third grade teacher Mrs. Cegar (lovingly called Miss Cigar by the whole class). To say she was evil is a massive understatement.

There are many reasons why I dislike the idea of traditional schooling, but one major reason is because of awesome teachers like this.

Miss Cigar was one in a million!

• She would tell us that if we were her kids she’d beat us. Yes, she really said this. She told us horrible stories of how she did beat her son and that’s why he turned out nicer than us.

• She’d tell us that she liked her dog better than any of us, a point that will become evident if you keep reading.

• During my third grade school year, my mom, a single parent, didn’t have a job because she was a FT college student. Miss Cigar took it upon herself to ask at every possible moment (and in front of anyone), “Dear has your mother found work yet?” She’d say it in just a snide enough manner to make me feel like a welfare case she had taken in out of the cold.

• Reading was always my best subject in school. I loved to read out loud. She knew this and told my mom that all this volunteering to read out loud had to stop. I was no longer allowed to read in front of the class due to the “big head” I was getting.

• She told the entire class “NEVER” to wear seat-belts. She was (supposedly) in some inferno crazed car wreak and not wearing her seat-belt had “SAVED” her life. Okay, I know in some situations that this could happen. But telling a whole class of nine year old kids to quit wearing their seat-belts? Personally, I think she was trying to get rid of some of us.

The Cherry On the Cake…

I swear this really happened: Every week we’d have a “kid of the week”. You know where you get to be the line leader and help pass out papers. But Miss Cigar’s kid of the week had one very extra special duty…

Every day after lunch we had rest time. But not if you were “kid of the week”! If you were this kid she’d hand you a pair of latex gloves and maneuver you out to the hallway. In the hallway sat the garbage cans full of thrown away lunches. She’d “let us” go through the garbage cans and pull out half eaten hot dogs and burgers which we’d throw into a plastic baggie. Miss Cigar would take this baggie home at the end of the day as a treat for her beloved dog.

On Friday “kid of the week” got a piece of candy from the jar on her desk for their trouble.

The worst part was…

As a kid raised in the school system, a system where you, the kid, is always wrong when compared to the teacher, I literally had no conception of how crazy Miss Cigar was until years later. I never even told my mom – I thought being talked down to and going through the trash was a perfectly normal third grade learning experience.

Miss Cigar is not alone.

Miss Cigar may be the worst teacher I ever had but she’s not the only one. I had many bad teachers. Teachers who wouldn’t allow you to go to the restroom. Teachers who made fun of my clothes. More than one teacher who told me I should stick to reading since I was obviously too stupid to get math (PS I later got a college degree in math).

Maybe you can chalk this up to the fact that I attended bad public schools. However, in response to that, I just talked to one 12 year old girl who attends a small, highly rated charter school. This school is supposed to be open, warm and progressive, yet this girl told me about all the issues she has with her teachers. Below are some direct quotes…

• Teachers ignore your problems. I told the teacher that two kids were making up inappropriate sex-minded stuff about me and she told me to quit talking about non-school stuff.
• I’m afraid teachers will change my mind about how I think.
• I’m worried all the time that my teachers will get me in trouble.
• Teachers don’t explain assignments right then get mad when I don’t understand.
• Teachers are usually mean.
• Teachers like to tell you off.
• If I don’t do my work right, the teacher makes me stand in front of the class and tell everyone why I didn’t.
• If I acted like my teachers I’d be sent to the office or get into trouble.
• Teachers don’t ever let stuff go. Once you get in trouble they never let you forget it.
• Teachers snoop in on your conversations, it’s like they’re stalking you, not at home though. Then all the teachers gossip about you behind your back.
• Teachers get upset with you and you get into trouble a lot (this is what she said after I asked her what school is about.)
• If you talk, the teacher says, “Sit in the back of the room.” I say, “But I can’t see back there.” The teacher says, “You should have thought of that before you talked.”
• Most teachers are rude and always mad at me.
• This one teacher I have is so smart. She’s really helped me learn to write but she is also evil. She’s the meanest teacher.

This same girl also told me a lot more, which I’ll save for later. Other kids have told me even worse stuff. The above quotes are very typical quotes I hear from kids in school. Of all the kids I’ve ever interviewed who attend typical schools I can’t think of one who hasn’t said stuff like this.

HOW ARE YOUR KIDS’ TEACHERS DOING?

Something to keep in mind is that I don’t often hear kids just blurt this stuff about teachers out. You HAVE to ask kids what’s going on in school to get straight answers. And there has to be zero consequences, no matter what your child says.

For example, the girl above told me all this stuff openly. When she told her parent that she’d talked back to a teacher though, her parent didn’t ask why, didn’t question the situation, and gave her this response, “You shouldn’t sass your teachers – you should be nice!” Talking back to teachers should be a red flag to a parent. Especially when dealing with a child, who, like this girl, doesn’t often talk back to adults. Usually she’s what most people would call well behaved.

Respect earns respect in my opinion. If a child can’t get basic decent treatment from a teacher, what on earth would compel that kid to be nice in return? Plus remember, kids learn by example. Be mean to a kid and you often get mean kids in return.

Also, if you give a child this, “Be nice” response, why would they feel comfortable telling you that they’re having issues with a teacher ever again. I almost never mentioned my mean teachers to my mom because I was scared I’d get in trouble. The few times I did mention my bad teachers to another adult, I was told to be nice and behave better – i.e. there was no point to me telling anyone. I thought it was bad, but overall, normal to be treated poorly by teachers. They called all the shots and I had no choice but to go along with it.

It’s very upsetting that many kids are always worrying about the stuff above. The girl whose comments are posted above, didn’t just say her teachers were mean, but said over and over how worried she was about this issue. Going to school scared of the adults there is no fun at all.

I know there are good teachers out there. I’ve had many in my life. I have many friends who are teachers and who do try to be kind and respectful. I’m not against teachers, but mean teachers. I think what’s going on are too many kids per class, not enough time, teachers being forced by the system to do things they normally might not and obviously for some adults, a general lack of common courtesy and respect for kids.

In any case, disrespectful adults is yet another reason why my son doesn’t attend a typical school.

What sort of teachers did you have growing up – good, bad a mix?