I know, it’s just October, but we have major Christmas issues around here. Each year I think to myself, “Hey, this is the year I’ll figure out the perfect Christmas holiday traditions for my family.“ A Christmas that’s not only eco-friendly, but also fun and most importantly, something that everyone can swallow.
EVERY YEAR I say this.
Christmas Headache
I’m pretty eco-friendly, not perfect, but pretty good. Except when it comes to Christmas. Celebrating an eco-friendly Christmas is probably my least developed green living skill. It’s not like we go nuts and buy plastic crap or switch from organic food to conventional, but we just don’t have Christmas under control. Basically, no one knows what to expect.
For example…
- No matter how hard I try, someone (usually most) family members still buy Cedar WAY too many gifts and most of those gifts aren’t my idea of non-toxic or green. I can literally beg people to cut back or even say flat out, “NO gifts” and no one listens. People love to give gifts.
- If we celebrate at another family member’s house (not mine) I have to deal with paper plates and other disposable holiday meal items, paper towels and lots of non-organic foods – all of which everyone but me is seemingly down with.
- We can’t decide on the tree issue. We haven’t had a Christmas tree in years. I actually like Christmas trees. I like the smell, the pretty lights and the tradition of having one, but I can’t justify cutting one down. We’ve had a living tree before, and that was okay, but overall, I’m not too on board with a tree. The kids however do want a tree. They wanted one last year, I said no, but I’m not sure it was the best solution.
- Now, just to complicate the issue further, my boyfriend Dave, who is pretty religious, doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas at all, because he considers it some sort of affront to God, yet he’s semi-hypocritical about this because his kids do celebrate thus so does he. In my mind, if you’re not for something, and it doesn’t agree you, you shouldn’t celebrate. Cedar and I have never celebrated any holiday in conjunction with religion.
Yup it’s a big fat mess.
Basically we don’t have a winter holiday plan. As a kid, my family celebrated a fairly typical American Christmas – trees, cookies, gifts and so fourth. As a kid, I liked it and thought it was mostly fun, but I never loved how hectic it was. By the time I was in my early 20s I was sick of the whole planning perfect gifts mess and sort of quit. Also by my early 20s I was jumping more into green living and the typical Christmas didn’t fit my ideals at all.
It’s very hard to find balance. You could be super eco and avoid the winter holiday season altogether but that’s extreme and doesn’t really build any sort of tradition for kids. You could say screw green ethics and have a big ol’ celebration with lots of bling – the other extreme. OR you can find balance. The problem is trying to find balance everyone agrees on. It’s not just your household; it’s extended family, friends, co-workers and more.
What’s the solution?
I have no clue. Ideally, here’s what I want…
- Much fewer gifts. I hate that family and friends don’t listen to me about this. The kids sort of get it. Last year in fact we had some big talks about it. But every year they’re given so much crap that it defeats any discussions we’ve had with them about living with less.
- I’d like the gifts the kids get at least to be eco-friendly (as in non-toxic, non-plastic). Ideally this would be across the board, but if I could just get people to buy safe stuff for the kids, I’d settle.
- Some fun and nice events that are tradition – meaning year-to-year these events works for us.
- I like having a family meal on Christmas, but I don’t like when we leave the house (to say, go to a family member’s house) because then we have to deal with non-organics and disposable tableware.
- Something Dave can live with. Really, we could just celebrate without him, but how lame is that? Since Dave isn’t on board with Christmas due to the fact that he thinks it’s a God mock, we sort of have to find something that works for him too.
I’ve gleamed ideas from I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas and Celebrate Green!, but so it seems like we need much more help because overall we don’t have a really good plan. I’ll be back with some resources I’ve been gathering that hopefully will help my family out – and maybe yours.
For now though, tell me, what’s your game plan? Does your family have eco-friendly winter holiday traditions or is this the time of year you start floundering with green living?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Let me just first say that we haven’t completely converted to the concept of Green Living. Many of our choices are based more on simple living (i.e. making do with less). In cases where it costs more to be green, we can’t always afford to be. Much of what my husband and I do is a balance of what we would prefer with what we can afford. Last year, we we opted out of the large extended family gift exchange in favor of collecting items for a local children’s charity. While others chose to do both, we decided that just giving to the charity was enough for us. When I was a child, every year my parent’s asked us each to pick at least one toy that was in good condition to give away. We also had a tradition where for several weeks leading up to Christmas we would each do nice things for another family member. (A little bit like Secret Santa), but instead of buying things, we would secretly do chores around the house for each other. I try to limit the number of toys my daughter gets (though more for space and simple living issues than green living issues however) and instead steer relatives toward clothing items that she needs. We make great use of the Amazon.com universal wish list.
As far as your specific issues go, try to find a way to compromise. You can’t control what other people serve or what they serve the food on, but perhaps you can offer to bring an organic dish or two to the party so that you know at least one thing your kids can eat. (My friend with severely allergy prone children does something similar). Encourage your kids to reuse a single plate and cup for the evening rather than disposing of several. Or host your own holiday party (make it winter themed if you don’t want to get religious) with organic food and reusable dishes. I’ll admit to being unsure why Christmas trees are ecologically unfriendly, especially compared to a manufactured fake one. (Like I said, I don’t by any means claim to be a green expert).We buy our tree from a local tree farm. They use healthy planting rotation and also produce other plants and seasonal items like pumpkins throughout the year. I don’t know if they are an organic tree farm, but I’m sure you could find one. When the season is over, the trees go to our city compost center and get chopped into mulch, which the city uses and makes available for free to the city residents. Our ornaments are a mixture of gifts, family heirlooms, and a few that we bought (sorry, not a green variety) the first year we were married. But they are reused every year. If you want to be more eco-friendly you could bring in old fashioned traditions like popcorn strings (you can compost them at the end of the season). I’ve seen families use real apples and other fruit instead of ornaments. Anything that doesn’t get eaten during the season can be composted. When I was a kid we made our own homemade salt dough ornaments and then painted them. They didn’t last forever, but many lasted 10 or 15 years. They are still some of my favorites. Family activities and time together often mean more to children then things or events anyway. Try to plan activities like caroling or cookie baking (organic of course) that focus more on the togetherness aspect of the season. Or focus on Christmas a season of giving to those who have less by volunteering as a family. Offer to help prepare an organic meal or shovel snow for elderly or ailing neighbors.
I hope you find a compromise that works for you.
I am not Christian, but my husband is. His family celebrates Christmas more as a family time than for the religious aspect, which might work for your family. The green thing that bugs me is all the gifts. My husband is one of 4 siblings, all with kids, and every family gets something for everyone. It seems rediculous to me to get unuseful gifts and freecycle them almost immediately, which inevitably happens to at least a few gifts every year. Everyone makes a Christmas list, which helps to make sure people get what they really want. I have asked for nothing before, and I have asked for donations to a few favorite charities instead of gifts – these never happen. So I also ask for things I wouldn’t buy myself but that I’d like to have, like CDs and DVDs and books. I try to get other people experience gifts – we took my nephews to an indoor soccer league game a few years ago and gave them the tickets on Christmas – that went over well. Gift cards to restaurants and movie theaters are also nice to give, especially for adults. For the kids, I try to pick good books, or toys that will last. They’re not usually eco, but it’s something from their list and if it will last, I’m ok with it. Last year our nieces were into crafty things so I found them each a great wooden stamp set in a wooden storage box – solid, and encourages their creativity. I also always wrap gifts in comics or newspaper sections – if it’s in newspaper they know it’s from me.
Thanks for the tips about the holiday issues. We don’t so much have a problem with making our celebration eco-friendly – we know green pretty well. It’s more agreeing about WHAT exactly to do. It’s very frustrating.
@Laura – Dave is saying he likes, or well, wants to celebrate since his girls do and the rest of his family. So I guess we’re sort of doing what you guys do (or your hubs). The problem I have with this is that Dave really would rather not celebrate – if that’s true, why shouldn’t he pass on those same ideas to his kids. It seems weird to support something you’re 100% not on board with. For example, no matter how mainstream chemical cleaners are, I’m not on board and won’t buy them. If my son was like, “I LOVE cleaners” I still wouldn’t buy them. It’s hard for me to see the difference when it comes to holidays.
@Laundry Lady – Your volunteering idea made me wonder if we should do something like that. I’m not usually on board with seasonal volunteering – most of the stuff I’ve volunteered for is year-round type stuff (i.e. Big Sisters, other mentoring programs, etc.) BUT maybe we could figure out some sort of volunteering you can only do in the winter, to set it apart. I also like the “Nice things for another family member” idea. I need to sit down and make a list I guess, of all the ideas I like. We’re actually holding a family meeting about Christmas this year, to see what the kids think and such.
I have a solution that could help with your family members that don’t purchase the gifts you would like your children to play with. Franklin Goose has an amazing selection of organic and natural toys for babies and childrens. They have a “Wishlist” option which is just like registering for a baby, so your children can pull up a chair next to you and browse the website with you to check out items they like. You can add them to a wishlist and then email your family and friends with the link to their wishlist. This is a great solution for holidays and birthdays!
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